It's such a taboo topic for some reason and yet it's touched so many of us. I read
this blog recently and it was a blessing to my heart to pause and think on our experience in losing our first little baby almost 3.5 years ago. If you have the time or desire,
read this blog. Very helpful in processing if you have experienced miscarriage yourself and also very helpful if you haven't and want to know what to say or not say or how to love a friend who is/has gone through this.
Joe and I did talk about our three babies at mother's day time. I never want to be so caught up this season with two little babes that I forget our first baby that we lost and how much I longed for him/her and how hard the ups and downs were of not being sure if things would be ok or not. And then how very sad I was after miscarrying and how much those affections for being a mother had been stirred in my heart. And then how those aching desires have been fulfilled in having Lucy and Noah. Yet, there will always be those desires to know and love our first little one.
The Lord worked significantly in me during those hardest of days and I know that season of loss, hurt and pain were certainly not in vain for Joe or myself. I read those "Trust" and "Contentment" devotionals by Lydia Brownback over and over and over because I was struggling so much with both of those topics. And I feel like I truly got to a point of trusting my future to the Lord and being content with where he had me in my marriage, job, church, life....
And then we were blessed with children - Lucy Joy came on the exact weekend I had miscarried 2 years later and little Noah Joseph a year a half later.
I have no idea what the future will hold and what joys and hardships are yet to come. But I pray that at the end of each day I can say
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised."