Thursday, May 30, 2013


It's such a taboo topic for some reason and yet it's touched so many of us. I read this blog recently and it was a blessing to my heart to pause and think on our experience in losing our first little baby almost 3.5 years ago. If you have the time or desire, read this blog. Very helpful in processing if you have experienced miscarriage yourself and also very helpful if you haven't and want to know what to say or not say or how to love a friend who is/has gone through this.

Joe and I did talk about our three babies at mother's day time. I never want to be so caught up this season with two little babes that I forget our first baby that we lost and how much I longed for him/her and how hard the ups and downs were of not being sure if things would be ok or not. And then how very sad I was after miscarrying and how much those affections for being a mother had been stirred in my heart. And then how those aching desires have been fulfilled in having Lucy and Noah. Yet, there will always be those desires to know and love our first little one.

The Lord worked significantly in me during those hardest of days and I know that season of loss, hurt and pain were certainly not in vain for Joe or myself. I read those "Trust" and "Contentment" devotionals by Lydia Brownback over and over and over because I was struggling so much with both of those topics. And I feel like I truly got to a point of trusting my future to the Lord and being content with where he had me in my marriage, job, church, life....
And then we were blessed with children - Lucy Joy came on the exact weekend I had miscarried 2 years later and little Noah Joseph a year a half later.
I have no idea what the future will hold and what joys and hardships are yet to come. But I pray that at the end of each day I can say
"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
    may the name of the Lord be praised."


  1. Wow! I had no idea you ever had a miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss. When I went to Haiti one of my team members shared with me that he and his wife experienced the kind of pregnancy that resembles a pregnancy but there never was a baby even though she kept growing as if there was a baby. He shared how hurt she was when she found out at 20 weeks and NO ONE acknowledged her loss. He taught me that even though we never got to see the little human it's still a loss, even though his wife was never pregnant with a baby, in her heart and mind she believed there was up until that point. I try to be conscious of others and empathize with their pain. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me how important our children really are!

  2. Thanks for sharing this, Rachel. I pray often for my friends who have experienced loss in this way. I can't imagine the pain of not getting to know your child. So thankful the Lord has brought beautiful children into your life!

  3. I loved that article. Thnk you so much for sharing it!

  4. Thank you for openly sharing your heart here, sweet friend!! I cannot imagine or fathom all of this heartbreak and don't really know what to say... except thank you for opening up and being real with us about what you went through. I know we've talked and shared about it before, but it's still different reading it written down. I cry and pray on your behalf, and am sooo thankful for your sweet, adorable, precious little kiddos! I hope to meet your other little babe alongside you someday in heaven. Love you sooo much friend!!!