"How to Put a Toddler to Bed in 100 Easy Steps"

Ohhh this post from Huffington Post killed me. It's SO TRUE.
Read it and laugh or cry, or laugh so you don't cry.
This is my exact routine some nights. NO. JOKE. enjoy.
Here's the 100 "Easy Steps":

1. Announce that it's time to go to bed.

2. Wait for your toddler to stop crying.

3. Explain that bedtime is not a punishment.

4. Explain that bedtime is not a new concept.

5. Explain that, yes, bedtime will happen every night.

6. Console your toddler.

7. Announce that it's still bedtime.

8. Let your toddler know that we don't call names in this house.

9. Tell your toddler it's time to go upstairs.

10. Watch your toddler move at a snail's pace.

11. Wait for your toddler to stop crying.

12. Pick up your toddler.

13. Walk your toddler upstairs.

14. Pick out the wrong pair of pajamas for your toddler.

15. Pick out another wrong pair of pajamas for your toddler.

16. Explain that the right pair of pajamas are in the wash.

17. Explain that you will not be doing a load of laundry this evening.

18. Console your toddler while he/she cries.

19 Explain that in this house we don't call names.

20. Watch your toddler struggle to get into his/her pajamas.

21. Ask your toddler if you can help.

22. Continue watching your toddler struggle.

23. Watch your toddler try to wear a pair of pants like a shirt.

24. Console your toddler.

25. Put the wrong pair of pajamas on your toddler.

26. Announce that it's time to brush teeth.

27. Explain the benefits of dental hygiene.

28. Console your toddler.

29. Carry your toddler into the bathroom.

30. Put a microscopic amount of toothpaste (poison) onto the toddler toothbrush.

31. Wet toothbrush.

32. When your toddler opens his/her mouth 1/45th of an inch wide, attempt to clean teeth.

33. Your toddler will attempt to spit in the sink, but will actually spit on the counter. Clean it up.

34. Console your toddler.

35. Ask your toddler to pick out two books.

36. Toddler will pick out the two longest books in your home.

37. Read the first line of every third page of the two books.

38. Field unrelated questions and interruptions.

39. Tell toddler it's time for a good night kiss.

40. Toddler will be suddenly and urgently thirsty, give toddler a small drink of water.

41. Toddler will ask a question. Answer question.

42. Say "good night" and kiss toddler.

43. Toddler will ask for a hug. Hug toddler.

44. Toddler will take up a sudden interest in potty training and ask to use the bathroom. It's poop.

45. Help toddler in the bathroom. Notice that there is no poop.

46. Toddler may become afraid. Assure toddler that there is nothing to be afraid of.

47. Toddler will ask a question about life. Answer question.

48. Toddler will need another hug and kiss. Give hug and kiss.

49. Toddler needs to urinate. Help toddler in the bathroom. Notice that toddler actually urinates.

50. Toddler requires a sticker for urinating successfully.

51. Put a sticker on toddler's potty chart.

52. Toddler may want to tell you a brief 10-minute story. Listen to story while backing out of the room.

53. Turn off the light.

54. Toddler remembers that he/she needs a special stuffed animal.

55. Ask where the stuffed animal is.

56. Toddler tells you it's in the car. Find your keys and look in the car. It's not there.

57. Look in the living room.

58. Look in the kitchen.

59. Look in the backyard.

60. Scout the neighbor's property.

61. Find the toy in your toddler's room, under the bed.

62. Ask toddler if he/she knew the toy was under their bed.

63. Toddler will ask for dinner. Explain to toddler that dinner ended hours ago.

64. Toddler will cry that he/she is hungry. Explain to toddler that he/she should have eaten said dinner.

65. Explain that we do not call people in this house names.

66. Toddler will ask for hug and kiss. Hug and kiss toddler.

67. Toddler will ask you to help arrange his/her pillows and blankets. Arrange pillows and blankets.

68. Toddler will ask you three essay questions. Answer them.

69. Toddler will notice that the tag end of the blanket is next to his/her face and will kick it off. Fix blanket, this time with care and precision.

70. Toddler will ask for the hall light on. Turn on the hall light.

71. Toddler will ask for another story. Explain that there will be no more stories.

72. Toddler will ask what the plan for tomorrow is. Resist the urge to say, "I won't be here. I'm running away tonight."

73. Tell toddler "good night."

74. Toddler will say his/her back, legs or butt is itchy.

75. At your discretion, try to relieve itchiness through lotion or wipes.

76. Put toddler back in bed.

77. Arrange blanket in the proper formation.

78. Say good night.

79. Toddler will say "good night."

80. As you reach the door, toddler will inform you that he/she is not wearing socks.

81. Choose the wrong pair of socks for your toddler.

82. Choose another wrong pair of socks for your toddler.

83. Choose the right pair of socks for your toddler.

84. Put the right pair of socks the wrong way on your toddler's feet.

85. Put the right pair of socks the wrong way on your toddler's feet.

86. Get the right pair of socks the right way on your toddler's feet.

87. Use your last thread of energy to stand.

88. Say "good night."

89. Toddler will say "good night."

90. As you leave the room, toddler will ask for a sip of water with pathetic sad look on face.

91. Give toddler sip of water and beg to be released from this Hades.

92. Toddler will ask for a back rub/tapping.

93. Tap toddler's back until you lose feeling in your arm and your toddler seems tired.

94. Slowly stop tapping. Stand up. Try to float out of the room.

95. Toddler will look at you. Say, "it's time to go to bed."

96. If toddler cries, pretend to be serious this time.

97. Say "good night."

98. Act like you're walking downstairs but just linger by the door, out of sight.

99. Pray.

100. Walk downstairs.

You may now relax for 2-5 minutes before you're called back in. Congrats!

The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting is out in paperback April 22, 2014.

BFF's

OK - got a little carried away but here is my girl with her bestie (Ruby) since in the womb?? Just love this girl, her mama and all of them. So thankful we met them 6 years ago and got to work in the youth group with them for 5 and now to be raising families together. Such a blessing!!

Lucy & Ruby (Age 3)



Age 2



Halloween 2012 age 2 and 20 months




At the Zoo the week Noah was born - Ruby's 2nd bday and Lucy is 18 months


OHHH that face?!?!?!? :)




Ruby 22 months and Lucy 16 months


tough one....Lucy 4 months and Ruby 10 months??


Lucy's dedication day - Mother's Day 2011 - Lucy 3 months and Ruby 9 months




Tummy pic #2



Very first pic of Ru & Lu in our tummies at summer camp - and I didn't even know it yet!!




Thankful for this family and for our friendship!!!




The next up and coming BFF's?!?!?!  :) :)

"30"

It's always nice to have my significant other turn the next year before me. By the time he turned 19, 20, 25, 29 - the big ages in my book so far....I had already gotten used to hearing it, thinking it, feeling it and by the time July rolled around 4 months later, I kind of already thought I was the age I turned.....
So TODAY my man is 30 and then hopefully this will work again in my favor....we shall see.

Anyways. What a blessing to have been able to see this guy through all of his 20's and now into a new decade. Praying for a blessed decade in our 30's together and pray that with it will come much growth in our relationship and our relationship with the Lord, maturity, wisdom and all the wonderful things that come with time and age. (wrinkles included?!)

Thankful to the Lord for this guy in my life - as a husband, daddy and friend. I could not have asked for anyone better or better suited for me. Thank you Lord!!

1.5 and 3 Stats

Lucy Joy is 29 lbs - 40% for weight which is by far the highest percentile she has ever been close to for this category, yay!! 72% for height - always been around this percentile. She got one shot because she was one behind for one of the Hep shots and she was really brave, just cried a little right away and then was good to go. I attribute this to her watching the Daniel Tiger/Lily going to the Dr. episode like 50 times....who says TV shows are bad?! :) :)

Noah Joseph is 23lbs and still around 12% for weight - shocking, I know. He looks big and normal to me?! He is 40% for height. He had no shots - hooray! And he did really well. Having them in the appt together ended up being really helpful because having each other made them more comfortable and the Dr. had Lucy help him with the tools before he would check Noah and that seemed to really put her at ease for when it was her turn. It was also super helpful to have my Mother-in-law along. She was great with the kiddos when I needed to talk one-on-one with the Dr. and it's just always nice to have her along for help and reassurance.

Here's a few pics of my 3 year old and 18 month old - how are they getting SO big?! Slow down kiddos!!

Frozen??

To see or not to see?
Is Frozen ok for a just-turned-three year old?
Are there scary parts or elements that would be not good for her - anyone have thoughts on that?!
All I've heard are good things so I almost took L to see it in the theatre but wasn't able to and thought I'd ask first.....




UPDATE: I bought the DVD for our first long road trip - excited to watch it!!

snow, snow, snow, snow, SNOW............

We are SO over it.
But here are a few photos of us Enjoying it! :) :)
(And here's to spring!)

Husbands..... :)

Check out this great blog post at girl talk  - it hit me hard! Why do I expect my husband to be a mind-reader?! Instead I want to thank the Lord for making us different, with unique strengths and weaknesses that together make our house a home and gives our kids just what they need from a mom and a dad.

When a Husband Doesn’t Help

2014 at 2:23 pm   |   by Janelle Bradshaw
Filed under Marriage Motherhood

My husband, Mike, is a gift that I don’t deserve. My kids have yet to fully grasp what an incredible dad they’ve been given. For one, they would never be clean if it wasn’t for him. True confessions: I really hate giving my kids baths. There, I said it. For some strange reason I prefer a clean bathroom and dirty children. But thankfully, the kids have Mike and whenever Dad is on duty, the kids get clean.

This is one of many ways that Mike and I are different. And when it comes to clean children, I appreciate those differences. Other times, not so much: particularly when those differences mean that Mike doesn’t help out in the way that I want him to with the kids.

For example, if Mike doesn’t seem to notice that I need help with the kids, or doesn’t help in the way I think he should, I can be tempted to judge his motives and assume he doesn’t care. I expect him to observe and understand the need that I have without my asking for help. But Mike doesn’t always realize that I need his help, or know what kind of help I’m expecting. This is not because he doesn’t want to be helpful, but because we are different.

Elisabeth Elliot diagnoses my problem:

“Strange how easy it seems to be for some women to expect their husbands to be women, to act like women, to do what is expected of women. Instead of that they are men, they act like men, they do what is expected of men and thus they do the unexpected….It’s another of those simple facts which are not always so simple to remember.”

When I remember this simple fact, I can resist the temptation to judge Mike, and graciously ask for his help instead. And you know what? Whenever I ask Mike for help, he says “yes!” He actually does care. A lot. He is always so eager to jump in and do whatever I need.

So, instead of expecting Mike to be like me, I can choose to appreciate the fact that he’snot like me (and that our children get regularly bathed!). And the next time he doesn’t help the way I think he should help, I can stop and thank the Lord that he’s different from me. Then I can open my mouth, ask for help, and be grateful for a husband who so willingly says “yes!”

Hospital bag

If you are expecting a baby or might one day file away this post! I have had two babies and still felt like I need to keep this list of hospital essentials to reference later.